The Breakup. A husband caught cheating.

After years of being in a relationship with a man I love dearly, it's now over.  It has been a long time coming.  I have given him every opportunity to be honest about his indiscretions, but he couldn't.  I told him all he had to do was be honest so I could get closure, we could figure why he did what he did and then we could start the healing process and move on.

He couldn't do it.  He stuck with his story of innocence.  I had no choice, but to tell him that I'm moving out.  At some point I had to have respect for myself, since apparently I didn't long ago, so the time is now.  He still didn't admit anything.  His ego is so big and yet so fragile that he can't admit to that weakness, that indiscretion, that lie.

Apparently our relationship wasn't worth it.

Today will be filled with tears and filling boxes of possessions that will remind me of him.  Memories of laughter filled vacations, loving kisses, cuddling in bed and plans we had of our future.

 I am dumbfounded as to how someone could throw everything away for a fling?  It would make more sense if he was in love with another woman and left me for her.  At least he would be fueled by passion.  But to lose a long time love, committed relationship (at least on my part) over sex with other women?  How amazing would the sex have to be???  Seriously?!

Hopefully, once I'm settled into my new place I will start to feel a bit of relief.  It'll be over, finally.

My pillow may be tear soaked by morning, but my conscious will start to grow stronger with every day that passes knowing I made the right decision, even if it took me years to do it.

So to everyone else out there going through the same situation, my heart is with you.

RLF
respect, love, faithfulness
revenge, love, forgive

Revenge as a pressure relief valve for anger.

Once you learn that you've been cheated on, lied to and mislead about your relationship anger and hatred may build inside.

What do you do with that powerful emotion boiling inside you?

Do you get revenge or forgive?

At some point you will have to forgive in order to move on with your life and be happy, but if you're not there yet and want to get revenge first, you have options.

Below are some ideas I've heard that other people have done to get revenge.  I am in no way telling you to get revenge in order to release that anger that is trapped inside you; what you do is entirely your choice.

Speaks for itself.

Spray paint has been used to write on a garage door of his house and or the mistresses house.
I'm sure in lots of other creative ways too.

There's the ol' clean the toilet with his toothbrush bit.  It's an oldy but goody.

How about placing poop in the tank of the toilet?  This sounds more like something a man would do, but who knows.

How about an ad in the newspaper or on craigslist?  A friend of mine put a classified ad in the local paper.  "Husband for sale cheap, comes with mistress."  That was the gist of it, but she elaborated.








There is always the home printed flyer with the cheaters name and picture on it, along with what they did wrong and post it up around the neighborhood and town.

My favorite story that I heard was a wife who sold her husbands car while he was traveling for "work".  What a surprise to come home to after vacationing with one's mistress?!  That takes a lot of balls.








Interested in something more covert?  How about a facebook account in their name describing what type of person they are, pictures and all.  Although, at some point fb will ask you to take it down, but until then.......

This is a bullseye on any man's ego!

We don't all have the luxury of this kind of money, but talk about priceless.

  

Have fun at a sporting event.











Another more covert method is to put their name on a cheaters website.  There are many and they are free.

That concludes the revenge list for today, but stay tuned, there will be more.  Revenge is wicked and so am I.  In the future I will share some of my wicked ways with you.

If you have tried any or heard of any interesting, entertaining ways of getting revenge for a broken heart please share.  I'm always looking out for the next great revenge story.

In a future post I will list positive, healing ways of getting revenge.

Until then, remember you are deserving of romance, love and faithfulness.

I found secret pictures of naked women.

                                                               image courtesy of pixabay



I stumbled upon some tucked away credit card statements that belong to my "sweetheart" and looked through them, of course.  Why wouldn't I?

They dated back 6 years ago.  Holy shit!  That son of a bitch has been fooling around with other women that far back!  At this point I would love to stab a knife into his heart, but I won't.  Instead I will go run until I'm exhausted.  It's a good thing he's not home for awhile.

As I looked over the statements I payed close attention to the dates.  Man he was busy.  He was in places other than where he told me he was.  More lies than truths have crossed his lips I'm sure.

One state came up regularly, despite the fact that he told me he only travels there every other year to visit his family.  So that's where another one lives.

Nothing would give me more pleasure right now than to be able to contact every woman that he's had an affair with.  Revenge being my only motive here.  These women don't know me and may or may not know that "he" is/was in a relationship.

Looking through the rest of the stack of statements I figured out that he had her fly to his house on at least one occasion.

And HER NAME was on the statement next to "plane ticket." Gold.

Now I know her name and what state she lives in.  From there finding her is easy.  No worries, I hold no anger toward her.  I just think she should know about him.

Fueled by this golden nugget of spy intel into the secret life of my now ex, I searched the house again.

Jackpot!

Guess who left an old laptop in a box along side it's power cord? You guessed it, that lying, cheating, unfaithful, no good son of a bitch.

Naturally I did what any cheated on wife/girlfriend/fiance/ partner would do.  I plugged it in.

And yes, I found naked pictures of 2 women.  Both with their names tagged in the image.  Dumbass!

There was another woman pictured, but with clothes on and no name.  Get this, he also had a selfie of himself in his underwear!  Like he was a politician or something.  My guess is that he either sent that pic to someone or used it as a profile pic on a smut site.

I recognized both names of the women.  Their names and phone numbers are on his cell phone.  He had said they were work associates.  Foolish me for not asking what type of work.

Wow, I found myself a real winner didn't I?  In the beginning I questioned a few things, but I had no idea just how far down the rabbit hole went.  I still don't.

It does make me wonder, just what else am I missing hiding in this house?  If I can't sleep tonight I have an activity to keep me busy at least.

So let this be a heads up ladies.  If you send naked pictures to someone you are dating, you don't know who will end up seeing them.

Off to do more searching while he's not at home.

If you have any stories you want to share please do.

Remember, we all deserve love and faithfulness.

Reading body language to know if he's lying to you.

If he's cheating, he's lying.  Let's face it, liars lie.  How are you suppose to know when he's telling the truth or lying?

That's where body language comes in.  The body doesn't lie.

Here are some of my tips on reading body language as it pertains to his feelings about you.  Keep in mind these are basic body language cues, you know you partner better than anyone else so there may be some variances.

If it helps, think back to the early stages of your relationship, how is he different now compared to then?


1.  Space.  How much space does he leave between the 2 of you when you: walk, sleep, watch tv, eat meals, talk on the phone, go to a party, visit friends, go to a bar/club?  You get the idea.  Does he sleep on the edge of the bed or cuddle?  When watching tv are you 2 physically touching or is he in his own personal space?  Does he walk at his own personal pace or stay by your side (holding hands or not)?  Do you eat meals together or on your own schedule?  When you go to a party do you go your separate ways?  If so, do you at least "check in" with each other periodically? At a bar or club does he ditch you for friends?  When meeting new people is he distant from you (like a stranger) or is he by your side (letting the world know that you belong to him)?

In essence, does he invite you into his personal space or not?

2.  Body positioning.  Does he face you?  When you talk is he facing you or angled facing away?  When you have sex, are you two face to face or does he prefer to look at the back of your head?  This is only important if it differs from the sexual contact you shared when you were close and intimate with one another.  Does he mirror you?  (when an interested party follows the movements of the other)

3.  His feet.  Watch his feet.  When you are near each other are his feet pointed away from you (as though his feet want to run away) or are they pointed toward you?

4.  Posture.  Slouching can be a sign of being comfortable, but it can also be a sign of no longer caring how you view him.  If he stands next to you with his chest out, tall and shoulders back that's pride (in himself and being with you.)  If he's slouching and a pretty woman walks by does he straighten up?

5.  Hands.  When he's talking to you are his hands clinched?  Fidgety?  Relaxed? Does he touch his face, neck or ears?  Are his hands resting on his arms and softly moving (this is known as self-soothing)?  How his hands are moving or not can say a lot about his mental state.

There are many clues their body gives us as to their honesty or lying ways, so watch them.  Watch how they move around you and around others.  What are the differences?

No one wants to discover that their spouse has been having an affair, but do you want to live with the alternative?

You deserve better.  We all do.

Cheating spouse caught sending flowers to another woman.

     Valentines Day is coming up, a time we dread if we believe our spouse is having an affair.

If you're wondering if he sent flowers to the other woman, you can check.  It also makes for a colorful way to catch your man cheating.

Do you know the florist he buys from?  You can either call and inquire about "an" order, using his name and number if they ask or check online (this requires knowing a password usually.)

If you don't know the florist you can call each one in your town, if you want to know that bad.

Once you know that he is sending flowers to his mistress, what do you do?  If it were me, I would have them read me the note (if there is one), change it to read something else entirely (your choice) or cancel the order all together.  However, if you want to go out with a colorful bang, you can have the flowers sent to you.  Nothing says you're busted you lying, cheating, loser quite like getting the flowers that were suppose to go to his secret girlfriend.

No matter what you do, remember you are deserving of real love, respect and faithfulness.

As for me, I'm going to enjoy Valentine's Day by buying myself some nice things with his money.
<3