After years of being in a relationship with a man I love dearly, it's now over. It has been a long time coming. I have given him every opportunity to be honest about his indiscretions, but he couldn't. I told him all he had to do was be honest so I could get closure, we could figure why he did what he did and then we could start the healing process and move on.
He couldn't do it. He stuck with his story of innocence. I had no choice, but to tell him that I'm moving out. At some point I had to have respect for myself, since apparently I didn't long ago, so the time is now. He still didn't admit anything. His ego is so big and yet so fragile that he can't admit to that weakness, that indiscretion, that lie.
Apparently our relationship wasn't worth it.
Today will be filled with tears and filling boxes of possessions that will remind me of him. Memories of laughter filled vacations, loving kisses, cuddling in bed and plans we had of our future.
I am dumbfounded as to how someone could throw everything away for a fling? It would make more sense if he was in love with another woman and left me for her. At least he would be fueled by passion. But to lose a long time love, committed relationship (at least on my part) over sex with other women? How amazing would the sex have to be??? Seriously?!
Hopefully, once I'm settled into my new place I will start to feel a bit of relief. It'll be over, finally.
My pillow may be tear soaked by morning, but my conscious will start to grow stronger with every day that passes knowing I made the right decision, even if it took me years to do it.
So to everyone else out there going through the same situation, my heart is with you.
RLF
respect, love, faithfulness
revenge, love, forgive
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