The Breakup. A husband caught cheating.

After years of being in a relationship with a man I love dearly, it's now over.  It has been a long time coming.  I have given him every opportunity to be honest about his indiscretions, but he couldn't.  I told him all he had to do was be honest so I could get closure, we could figure why he did what he did and then we could start the healing process and move on.

He couldn't do it.  He stuck with his story of innocence.  I had no choice, but to tell him that I'm moving out.  At some point I had to have respect for myself, since apparently I didn't long ago, so the time is now.  He still didn't admit anything.  His ego is so big and yet so fragile that he can't admit to that weakness, that indiscretion, that lie.

Apparently our relationship wasn't worth it.

Today will be filled with tears and filling boxes of possessions that will remind me of him.  Memories of laughter filled vacations, loving kisses, cuddling in bed and plans we had of our future.

 I am dumbfounded as to how someone could throw everything away for a fling?  It would make more sense if he was in love with another woman and left me for her.  At least he would be fueled by passion.  But to lose a long time love, committed relationship (at least on my part) over sex with other women?  How amazing would the sex have to be???  Seriously?!

Hopefully, once I'm settled into my new place I will start to feel a bit of relief.  It'll be over, finally.

My pillow may be tear soaked by morning, but my conscious will start to grow stronger with every day that passes knowing I made the right decision, even if it took me years to do it.

So to everyone else out there going through the same situation, my heart is with you.

RLF
respect, love, faithfulness
revenge, love, forgive

I found secret pictures of naked women.

                                                               image courtesy of pixabay



I stumbled upon some tucked away credit card statements that belong to my "sweetheart" and looked through them, of course.  Why wouldn't I?

They dated back 6 years ago.  Holy shit!  That son of a bitch has been fooling around with other women that far back!  At this point I would love to stab a knife into his heart, but I won't.  Instead I will go run until I'm exhausted.  It's a good thing he's not home for awhile.

As I looked over the statements I payed close attention to the dates.  Man he was busy.  He was in places other than where he told me he was.  More lies than truths have crossed his lips I'm sure.

One state came up regularly, despite the fact that he told me he only travels there every other year to visit his family.  So that's where another one lives.

Nothing would give me more pleasure right now than to be able to contact every woman that he's had an affair with.  Revenge being my only motive here.  These women don't know me and may or may not know that "he" is/was in a relationship.

Looking through the rest of the stack of statements I figured out that he had her fly to his house on at least one occasion.

And HER NAME was on the statement next to "plane ticket." Gold.

Now I know her name and what state she lives in.  From there finding her is easy.  No worries, I hold no anger toward her.  I just think she should know about him.

Fueled by this golden nugget of spy intel into the secret life of my now ex, I searched the house again.

Jackpot!

Guess who left an old laptop in a box along side it's power cord? You guessed it, that lying, cheating, unfaithful, no good son of a bitch.

Naturally I did what any cheated on wife/girlfriend/fiance/ partner would do.  I plugged it in.

And yes, I found naked pictures of 2 women.  Both with their names tagged in the image.  Dumbass!

There was another woman pictured, but with clothes on and no name.  Get this, he also had a selfie of himself in his underwear!  Like he was a politician or something.  My guess is that he either sent that pic to someone or used it as a profile pic on a smut site.

I recognized both names of the women.  Their names and phone numbers are on his cell phone.  He had said they were work associates.  Foolish me for not asking what type of work.

Wow, I found myself a real winner didn't I?  In the beginning I questioned a few things, but I had no idea just how far down the rabbit hole went.  I still don't.

It does make me wonder, just what else am I missing hiding in this house?  If I can't sleep tonight I have an activity to keep me busy at least.

So let this be a heads up ladies.  If you send naked pictures to someone you are dating, you don't know who will end up seeing them.

Off to do more searching while he's not at home.

If you have any stories you want to share please do.

Remember, we all deserve love and faithfulness.

Cheating spouse caught sending flowers to another woman.

     Valentines Day is coming up, a time we dread if we believe our spouse is having an affair.

If you're wondering if he sent flowers to the other woman, you can check.  It also makes for a colorful way to catch your man cheating.

Do you know the florist he buys from?  You can either call and inquire about "an" order, using his name and number if they ask or check online (this requires knowing a password usually.)

If you don't know the florist you can call each one in your town, if you want to know that bad.

Once you know that he is sending flowers to his mistress, what do you do?  If it were me, I would have them read me the note (if there is one), change it to read something else entirely (your choice) or cancel the order all together.  However, if you want to go out with a colorful bang, you can have the flowers sent to you.  Nothing says you're busted you lying, cheating, loser quite like getting the flowers that were suppose to go to his secret girlfriend.

No matter what you do, remember you are deserving of real love, respect and faithfulness.

As for me, I'm going to enjoy Valentine's Day by buying myself some nice things with his money.
<3

Profile of a male serial cheater.

Serial cheaters are the ones who will continue to cheat every chance they get.

They love the thrill.

They think they deserve the adoration and attention.

They don't think that they will get caught.  In the back of their mind they think they can talk their way out of it if they do get caught.

They think they are smarter than you.

It is your job to protect yourself from them.  In order to do that I've put together a list of qualities that serial cheaters have in common.

1.  They are narcissists.  They think only of themselves and what they want.  It doesn't matter who they hurt to get it.

2.  They are self-entitled.  They think they deserve anything and everything their heart or loins desire.  They look to other people to pump their ego; They don't know how to do it themselves.

3.  They are more likely to have money.  They need money to shower women with gifts.  They are not capable of giving true love, so gifts are their way of saying "I care about you."  He may say the words I love you, but they mean something different to him than you.

4.  They are more likely to have jobs with power and control.  An executive for example.

5.  They are image oriented.  They are shallow people.  It's all about looks.  They want to be with attractive women who shower them with words of praise, there by stroking their egos.  Their own looks and image to others is of high importance.  They present themselves well, but you have to be able to look past the facade.

6.  They have double standards.  Rules apply to everyone else to "be good", but not to them.  Since they are narcissists they think they can rewrite the rules.

7.  They are experts at justification.  In their heads they are able to justify any action or motive to suit their needs and give them the excuse they need to cheat.  They do not think of themselves as liars, cheaters, deceitful or unfaithful.  They can justify infidelity with ease.

8.  They take no accountability.  If you notice that they place accountability of anything (past relationship failures, problems in the workplace, family issues for example) on other people instead of owning their part of the problem than you bet that they do  that with cheating too.

9.  They are insecure or paranoid.  This may be hard to spot at first because they are masters of deception.  Initially they come across as confidant, but that is a mask.  Inside they are insecure about your faithfulness because they know how easy it is to cheat.  Once they decide they want to keep you around for awhile you may start to notice the jealousy signs of insecurity and paranoia.  Beware, this is never a good sign.

10. They have cheated before.  They may or may not tell you if they have previously been unfaithful, but if they do realize there is a distinct possibility they will again.  And you should know that if they cheated with you, they absolutely will cheat on you.  Don't lie to yourself and think they won't.


11. They are handsome.  Good looks goes along way to forgiveness and masking deception.  People who are attractive can get away with a lot more than ugly counterparts.  This is not to say that all good looking people are cheaters because that's not true.

12. They are charming.  They pride themselves on being charming and know how to use that to their advantage.

13.  They know how to read people.  They are good at reading people and learning what matters to that person.  They use that knowledge to lie and lure their target with empty promises.  They are predators.

14. They likely had parents who were unfaithful.  Seeing infidelity as a child imprints on them that it is normal behavior.

15. They are skilled liars.  If you ever hear them lie or say that they lied, than you can bet that they lie to you too.  If they'll lie about the little things, than they'll lie about anything.


Take these for what they are, little pieces of a larger, thoughtless, emotional void that make up a serial cheater.

No one wants to be in a relationship with a cheater, so learn to spot the signs of serial cheaters before you get too far involved.

Always remember that you deserve better.