The Breakup. A husband caught cheating.

After years of being in a relationship with a man I love dearly, it's now over.  It has been a long time coming.  I have given him every opportunity to be honest about his indiscretions, but he couldn't.  I told him all he had to do was be honest so I could get closure, we could figure why he did what he did and then we could start the healing process and move on.

He couldn't do it.  He stuck with his story of innocence.  I had no choice, but to tell him that I'm moving out.  At some point I had to have respect for myself, since apparently I didn't long ago, so the time is now.  He still didn't admit anything.  His ego is so big and yet so fragile that he can't admit to that weakness, that indiscretion, that lie.

Apparently our relationship wasn't worth it.

Today will be filled with tears and filling boxes of possessions that will remind me of him.  Memories of laughter filled vacations, loving kisses, cuddling in bed and plans we had of our future.

 I am dumbfounded as to how someone could throw everything away for a fling?  It would make more sense if he was in love with another woman and left me for her.  At least he would be fueled by passion.  But to lose a long time love, committed relationship (at least on my part) over sex with other women?  How amazing would the sex have to be???  Seriously?!

Hopefully, once I'm settled into my new place I will start to feel a bit of relief.  It'll be over, finally.

My pillow may be tear soaked by morning, but my conscious will start to grow stronger with every day that passes knowing I made the right decision, even if it took me years to do it.

So to everyone else out there going through the same situation, my heart is with you.

RLF
respect, love, faithfulness
revenge, love, forgive

Cheating spouse caught sending flowers to another woman.

     Valentines Day is coming up, a time we dread if we believe our spouse is having an affair.

If you're wondering if he sent flowers to the other woman, you can check.  It also makes for a colorful way to catch your man cheating.

Do you know the florist he buys from?  You can either call and inquire about "an" order, using his name and number if they ask or check online (this requires knowing a password usually.)

If you don't know the florist you can call each one in your town, if you want to know that bad.

Once you know that he is sending flowers to his mistress, what do you do?  If it were me, I would have them read me the note (if there is one), change it to read something else entirely (your choice) or cancel the order all together.  However, if you want to go out with a colorful bang, you can have the flowers sent to you.  Nothing says you're busted you lying, cheating, loser quite like getting the flowers that were suppose to go to his secret girlfriend.

No matter what you do, remember you are deserving of real love, respect and faithfulness.

As for me, I'm going to enjoy Valentine's Day by buying myself some nice things with his money.
<3

Slow and tried but true, 2 ways to catch a cheater.

Trying to catch someone cheating can be time consuming.  Do you trust your gut instinct or do you want proof?  If you find evidence of an affair do you talk to him or just leave him?  What if he lies to you and it's believable?  What if he keeps cheating?  How much time are you willing to invest to discover the truth?

For me, I love the thrill.  How many different ways can I discover secrets?  Who is more clever?  How many different books can I write using all the information I gather?  The answer to that by the way is three in the works so far.  The least I can do is make some money out of this whole ordeal.  That will piss him off once he learns what I did.  Good.

However, I don't recommend that to anyone.  I, on the other hand, know that I should've left years ago when I first started to wonder why his personality changed. Also, I am a covert passive aggressive woman.  He is a covert passive aggressive male.  In other words, together we are a screwed up, dangerous couple.

Let's get back to you.  Are you going to trust your gut (which is really your subconscious having noticed clues) or are you going to look for proof?  If so, how much time are you going to allow yourself to look?  It can be time consuming.

Looking online for proof of cheating, lying, infidelity, unfaithfulness, what ever you want to label it, can suck up your energy and time.

Dating sites.  If he's at least half smart he won't post an image of himself which would make it a lot easier.  Other wise, type in a description of what you are looking for (his age range, physical description, an approximate mile radius and qualities you think he'll use to describe himself.)  Now you have the tedious task of gleaning through all the profiles.  If you run across your partner's profile you'll know.  Be sure to search through slutty dating sites (adultfriendfinder, adulthookups, naughtydating for example) as well as, the regular dating sites such as match, plenty of fish and zoosk.  You never know, you may run across an image of your man's junk.

Searching dating sites is the most time consuming method I know to find clues, but when you find it you can set up a fake profile to start "flirting" and maybe get a chance to bust him face to face.

Follow them.  This is very old school but it works.  You may want to ask a trusted friend to help with this.  Figure out when he meets up with the mystery woman.  Is it on his way home from work?  When he's at "the gym"?  When he's with his "friends"?  Instead of going to church?  Once you know when then you can make plans to follow him and see where he goes.  Or if you have the money simply put a gps tracker on his car.

Time and patience are key with these methods.

Remember you are deserving of respect, love and faithfulness.