Using observations to find clues.

When you think your partner might be cheating on you it's heartbreaking.  If you ask him about it and he denies it, but you have that nagging feeling that he's not telling the truth you will need to find out for yourself.  

You can start with observation. 

Using your powers of observation you can find clues, answers to questions or leads to answers.  Think of yourself as a modern Sherlock.

If you don't already, start noticing and paying attention to normal details and their variants.  Below are examples.

1.  Keep track of the mileage on your cars.  Perhaps he said he was going to help out a sick friend (in town) but you notice there are 120 miles extra on the odometer.  He would travel 60 miles out and 60 back, so what town would be 60 miles away? Does he know someone that far away?

2. Watch his phone.  When you leave the room is it in a slightly different place when you get back?  Did you hear voices while you were out?  Does he have a tendency not to be on the phone when you are around?

3.  When he does get on his phone can you see the screen or does he keep it angled in such a way that only he can see it?  When you do see the screen are there recent calls, messages or emails, but he doesn't check them?

4.  How often does he use the bathroom?  Every few hours or every hour?  Does he turn the fan on each time (to cover sounds)?  Does the toilet flush? Does he wash his hands?  My point is this, is he using the facility or using the space for privacy?  Does he take the phone in with him?  Maybe he hides it in his pocket and thinks you don't notice?

5.  Does he go outside to smoke?  If so, how often?  Is that the way he's always been?  How long is he out side?  Is there a specific time of the day that he always goes out "for a smoke"?  Maybe he has a set time that he "chats" with someone under the pretense of smoking.  If the length of time is inconsistent such as 10 minutes most of the time and others only 4 minutes then ask yourself why?

6.  Where does he place his car keys?  Are they usually in a set spot, but now they are kept farther away or in a drawer or his pocket?

If he is a creature of habit then take note of any changes.

7.  Does the florist at the grocery store recognize him even though he rarely buys you flowers?

8.  Notice exactly how/where his car is parked.  Put a leaf under a rear tire if need be.  When you get back home has his car moved?  What did he do that day?  Did he say he was at home all day?  Obviously, this is more helpful if he's already told you that he was planning on being home all day.

9.  Keep track of money, specifically how much he spends and if it can be accounted for.

10. Does he not want to open the trunk of his car when you are around?  It's an easy, short term hiding spot.

These are just examples of every day happenings that could lead you to a clue.  There are so many more to pay attention to:  Shirt tucked in or out?  How many buttons are buttoned when he leaves?  Are his shoes dirty or clean when he leaves?  Does he smell different when he comes home?  Is he still wearing the necklace he left the house in?  Is the passenger seat in a different position?

You get the idea.

 Even the smallest detail can reveal a clue.

If you aren't use to having to be that detail oriented you can train yourself.  Start by paying attention to whatever he cherishes the most.  Take a look around before you leave a room or the house.

Have any questions?  Have any suggestions to add?  Feel free to contribute to our skills and knowledge database.