You know something isn't quite right. You want to trust your instincts, but you want to believe that your partner, spouse, boyfriend, fiance would never do anything to hurt you. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, that's a big but, there are too many signs, red flags, signals that something is wrong.
Below is a list of possible signs of cheating, infidelity and unfaithfulness. One or two may be normal, but many signs signal something is amiss. If you see the signs, don't just walk you need to run!
1. He stops complimenting you, even when you go out of your way to look gorgeous.
2. You walk around in sexy lingerie or naked and he doesn't notice.
3. He stops calling and texting you throughout the day the way he used to.
4. Something at work has "come up" and he has to leave for work early or stay late (and this happens regularly now.)
5. There is a spare change of clothes in his car (for no apparent reason.)
6. In his car are items that aren't necessities such as: a blanket, cologne, deoderant, a toothbrush.
7. His cell phone is now kept face down.
8. Electronic items are now password protected and he doesn't want to give you the password. If he gives you the password he hovers over you while you look. He then changes the password when you aren't looking.
9. He details his car regularly. This hides any evidence from you or the other woman that may have been left behind in the car (a hair, fingerprint, perfume smell, broken nail, love note.)
10. He starts picking on you or pointing out your flaws. He may even overtly point out flaws in strangers that you know you have (this is a passive approach to put downs.)
11. You catch him lying. If he'll lie about little things he'll lie about big things.
12. He buys new clothes and doesn't wear them when with you. He now likes to go out all dressed up when he used to be comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt.
13. More and more frequently he goes out with the "guys".
14. Date nights have become non- existent and when you do go out you are the one who has to plan everything.
15. Now he wants to save money and cut back on household expenses. This could be because he is spending money on someone else and is feeling the financial strain.
16. He has started a new hobby. When you ask where the inspiration for the hobby came from he replies with a none specific answer such as, just because or I just wanted to. The idea came from some place. It could be that the other woman has this hobby.
17. He now appreciates a new style of music.
18. His change in clothing styles have changed. He went from wearing suits to a biker, bad boy look. Or preppy to punk.
19. His suggestions now include you trying out new styles of clothes to wear. His sudden interest in you wearing yoga pants or tall sexy boots (not together of course) could come from the other woman's clothing style. You dressing like her reminds him of her.
20. Excuses are made so he can get out of the house, even for 5 minutes, so he can call or text her. Maybe he offers to run to the store to buy milk. Maybe he goes outside to "smoke" more than he usually does.
21. He takes his phone everywhere even to the bathroom, the garage, to do yard work.
22. He's learned new sex moves or has improved at sex over all.
23. It is no longer a priority to satisfy you in bed. It's all about him and it's perfunctory at best.
24. Everything you do irritates him.
25. You are encouraged, by him, to spend more time with your friends or go visit family out of town,
26. If he travels for work he leaves more often than you know is necessary.
27. Physical contact in general is gone. Hand holding, hugs or cuddling is non-existent or are initiated by you. After sex he rolls onto his side of the bed instead of spooning.
28. You discover a secret facebook or other social network account. When you ask him about it, he gets mad and denies it. After all, if he denies it he thinks you'll believe him.
29. You discover a secret email account. There is never, ever a reason for anyone to have a secret account. It means only one thing. A big secret is being kept from you.
30. He no longer asks or cares about your day, what you did with your day or how you feel.
31. Mutually engaged conversations are virtually non-existent. You have become the couple at the dinner table who don't speak. He is most likely wishing he were somewhere else.
32. When you question him about his behavior, attitude, lack of attention, he has an excuse, every time.
33. Desk drawers, filing cabinets or anything that can lock is now locked.
34. He starts laundering his clothes more frequently.
35. You notice unusual stains or spills on his under clothes. He says it's just food.
36. He no longer wants to talk about future plans. That includes not wanting to plan this years vacation.
37. In the app store you notice downloads that aren't on your phone such as hangouts, path or restaurant finders.
38. He kisses differently. What few kisses you get are now pecks not passionate.
39. While helping your friend search through a dating site you run across a profile that sounds like a perfect description of your man (with no image of course.)
40. He no longer opens his bank statements (if you have separate accounts) or his credit card statements. Or perhaps he has switched them all to paperless so you are unable to see where his money goes.
41. If you do share a bank account you notice multiple withdrawals of cash with no explanation of where the money went.
42. The screen changes on his tech device when you walk into the room.
43. He is very moody. Ups and downs that you can't make any connection to. When you ask he responds with a general statement such as "a bad day at work" or "a good day at work."
44. When showing interest in something he's working on he calls you clingy.
45. His credit card debt has gone through the roof and there is nothing new at the house to show for it.
46. He no longer does his household chores, leaving everything for you to do.
47. If you have children, he complains about them. He nit picks on everything they do.
48. He is unaware of where you are. In other words, he doesn't notice when you are at home or when you've left.
49. It no longer bothers him who you spend your time with or how long you're gone.
50. He tries to quit all of his bad habits (smoking, drinking, chewing, nail biting etc..)
51. On top of that he is now trying to improve himself. He pays more attention to his hygiene, starts exercising, eats better, decreases his foul language, you get the gist.
52. He is trying to learn to cook. Perhaps he now makes a new dish for dinner and when you ask where he got the recipe he "made it up", but he doesn't usually cook.
53. His friends or co-workers are noticeably uncomfortable around you.
54. He brings you flowers or a gift for "no reason." This is most likely a guilt gift.
55. You are getting wrong number calls to your phone or hang ups. Maybe the other woman got a hold of your number.
56. You manage to go through the pictures on his phone and there are pics of people you don't know. Worse yet, the only pictures of you and he together look like you are just friends. He's deleted any kissing or intimate pics of the 2 of you.
57. On his phone you discover an inordinate amount of contacts, some are duplicated. You call a few and they are no longer valid. He has unnecessary numbers on his phone to better conceal the ones he wants kept secret.
58. You find notes in his wallet, desk, car, backpack. suitcase or briefcase (from the obvious to the odd.)
59. You bring up the topic of cheating and he gets angry and or turns the tables and accuses you. Getting angry is a defense mechanism. If he isn't doing anything wrong he would most likely comfort you.
60. You bring up the topic of being unfaithful and he suggests a temporary break or that maybe "you" need some space.
If he is cheating the chances of him ever being man enough to admit it are infinitesimally small.
How are you going to handle your knowledge? Do you demand respect for yourself and leave or tell him he needs therapy for being a dumbass? What will you do?
Always remember you are deserving of respect, love and faithfulness.
