Reading body language to know if he's lying to you.

If he's cheating, he's lying.  Let's face it, liars lie.  How are you suppose to know when he's telling the truth or lying?

That's where body language comes in.  The body doesn't lie.

Here are some of my tips on reading body language as it pertains to his feelings about you.  Keep in mind these are basic body language cues, you know you partner better than anyone else so there may be some variances.

If it helps, think back to the early stages of your relationship, how is he different now compared to then?


1.  Space.  How much space does he leave between the 2 of you when you: walk, sleep, watch tv, eat meals, talk on the phone, go to a party, visit friends, go to a bar/club?  You get the idea.  Does he sleep on the edge of the bed or cuddle?  When watching tv are you 2 physically touching or is he in his own personal space?  Does he walk at his own personal pace or stay by your side (holding hands or not)?  Do you eat meals together or on your own schedule?  When you go to a party do you go your separate ways?  If so, do you at least "check in" with each other periodically? At a bar or club does he ditch you for friends?  When meeting new people is he distant from you (like a stranger) or is he by your side (letting the world know that you belong to him)?

In essence, does he invite you into his personal space or not?

2.  Body positioning.  Does he face you?  When you talk is he facing you or angled facing away?  When you have sex, are you two face to face or does he prefer to look at the back of your head?  This is only important if it differs from the sexual contact you shared when you were close and intimate with one another.  Does he mirror you?  (when an interested party follows the movements of the other)

3.  His feet.  Watch his feet.  When you are near each other are his feet pointed away from you (as though his feet want to run away) or are they pointed toward you?

4.  Posture.  Slouching can be a sign of being comfortable, but it can also be a sign of no longer caring how you view him.  If he stands next to you with his chest out, tall and shoulders back that's pride (in himself and being with you.)  If he's slouching and a pretty woman walks by does he straighten up?

5.  Hands.  When he's talking to you are his hands clinched?  Fidgety?  Relaxed? Does he touch his face, neck or ears?  Are his hands resting on his arms and softly moving (this is known as self-soothing)?  How his hands are moving or not can say a lot about his mental state.

There are many clues their body gives us as to their honesty or lying ways, so watch them.  Watch how they move around you and around others.  What are the differences?

No one wants to discover that their spouse has been having an affair, but do you want to live with the alternative?

You deserve better.  We all do.

20 ways to tell he may be lying

     Reading people to distinguish a lie from the truth isn't an exact science.  People handle stress differently which is what they do when they lie.  The more experienced they are at lying, the better they are at hiding it, unfortunately.

     This is an excellent time to use your powers of observation, to help detect a lie.

     By now, in your relationship, you should know how to tell when he is uncomfortable.  That is a good starting point.  If you are having a seemingly normal conversation and you notice his comfort level has changed you should explore the topic further.

     Begin with an honest baseline.  In other words, how does he look, talk, sound, move or gesture when he is telling the truth?  That's your baseline.  Now ask him a question that you know he will lie to.  What are the differences?

Here is a list of tips and tells for liars, but everyone is different, so learn his.

1.  No eye contact or too much eye contact.

2.  An immediate prepared answer or taking too long to think of an answer.

3.  Changes the answer.

4.  Stiffens his body.

5.  Rubs his eyes or forehead.

6.  Covers his mouth when talking.

7.  Micro-expressions.  The instantaneous Oh Shit expression that flashes on his face before he corrects it.

8. Unusual touching or scratching of the face.

9.  Their words don't match their expressions or body language.

10. A tick or restlessness in a body part.  Finger tapping, toe tapping, leg wiggles, you get the idea.

11. They answer no, but their head shakes yes.  Or the opposite for yes.

12. Their tone changes.

13. If the answer doesn't make sense or is illogical.

14. Too much detail for what should have been a simple answer.

15. Are his eyes closed or does he look away when he answers?

16. No contractions are used.  As in "I did not cheat."

17. Gets defensive at your questions.

18. Repeats the question (in an effort to buy time.)

19. May unconsciously put an object between him and you (arms crossed,a leg, a book, a pillow, etc.)

20. If he feels the need to explain himself for what should be a simple answer.

     Now that you know some of the standard tells, it's time to do some clarifying.

1.  Switch quickly to a different topic.  A liar will gladly go along, but anyone else will want to go back and finish or put a close to the previous topic.

2.  Ask him to retell the story but in reverse.

3.  If there was a question that caused discomfort ask follow up questions.


     The bottom line, you may be able to tell when he is lying, but most men, even when confronted with evidence still won't admit to an affair.  However, you don't need him to admit it to make a decision for what is best for you.

     Do you want to be free, not tied down to someone who has no integrity and will lie to your face?  Or do you want to try to work it out?  A tip, it's impossible to move on and have trust if he can't be honest with you.


     Do you have any tips we should add to our list?  If so, please feel free to share.

     And remember, you deserve respect, love and honesty.